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The Meanest Things Critics Said About Just One Of The 50 Shades of Grey Performances

Even though it secured a cool $105 million on opening weekend, 50 Shades of Grey and the actors of the movie have copped a fair share of flack, well except

Especially Jamie Dornan.

From not having the ideal look, to his frozen, vacant expression, Dormer certainly hasn't gotten off lightly...

Check out some of the meanest things the critics have said!

The Diva Review:

"Maybe I'm just not hip to what makes a romantic lead these days, but past that first awkward meeting with Ana, this fellow had all the charisma and magnetism of oatmeal.

Deadspin:

"[Dakota Johnson's] performance is particularly impressive because she has to act opposite an inanimate block of wood."

Seattle Times:

For anyone who's managed to steer clear of this phenomenon (lucky you), "Fifty Shades of Grey," based on the extremely dull erotic best-seller by E.L. James, is about new college grad Anastasia Steele (Johnson) and 27-year-old Seattle tech gazillionaire Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan, sort of like a young Colin Firth on tranquilizers)."

Boston Globe:

"Dornan isn't unlikable, but his Christian comes off as an angry geek as opposed to a cool guy. His discomfort — and constant constipation face — doesn't help with chemistry..."

The Globe and Mail:

"As the titular anti-hero, Dornan is stiff and as unappealing as a preposterously good-looking, half-clad man could possibly be.

Vulture:

"Although I did grow to appreciate his modest, unshowy acting, it's clear he's not sending much heat her way and that she's having to work herself up in a vacuum — at a cost to her psyche, judging from her glassy, PTSD demeanor in television interviews."

The Atlantic:

"It doesn't help that the Irish actor can manage only an intermittent approximation of an American accent. His native brogue is evident in the very first scene, and try as he might to choke it down, it keeps coming back up, like an elocutionary hairball.

New York Times:

"Mr. Dornan, given the job of inspiring lust, fascination and also maybe a tiny, thrilling frisson of fear, succeeds mainly in eliciting pity. In print, Christian is a blur and a blank — a screen onto which any given reader can project a customized masculine ideal.

The Guardian:

"Dakota Johnson plays the virginal Anastasia Steele, an innocent student sent to interview Hobbit-faced billionaire Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan), who winds up being lured into his purpose-built dungeon of love."

Philadelphia Inquirier:

"Dornan's performance is so one-note the question hardly presents itself. Maybe he's a sociopath, but he comes off like a well-tailored cipher, a chiseled marionette.

Cinema Dope:

"A number of other scenes are equally funny but played straight-faced, more by Johnson, who spends most of the film gnawing her lower lip, than by Dornan, whose "dominant" couldn't be any more self-conscious or malleable; he seems to be forever apologizing for his fetish.

Slate:

"Dornan has one of those faces that makes you think you might have face blindness. Every time he appears in a scene, there's a split second of wondering if it's him or someone else. Needless to say that doesn't bode well for presence in the boudoir."

Christian Science Monitor:

"Dornan has all the charisma of a hologram."

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