The Worst Of The Worst Baby Names Imaginable
As names like Khaleesi and Arya skyrocket onto the NSW Births, Deaths & Marriages list, we bet you thought you’d seen every kind of weird baby name imaginable.
Well, you thought wrong.
A Reddit thread has posed the ever-entertaining question: What is the worst name you’ve seen given to a child, and do you know why?
In just two days, the thread has attracted over 18,000 comments. Here are 22 of the best (worst) names:
HELLZEL - According to her, her mother liked Hazel but her dad was a biker and loved hells angels, so they came up with this mess.
— From oh_sneezeus
VEJONICA - Combined names are never a good idea. A friend of my sister-in-law worked in a maternity ward and saw a kid named after her grandparents, named john and Veronica. Her name was Vejonica.
— From GreenValleyWideRiver
The teller at my bank is named Thermopylae. She had no idea, just that her mum liked it.
— From Geaux
BABY BOI - I taught swimming to a poor kid named “Baby Boi,” again, all first name.
— From Stars-in-the-night
BABY GIRL - When I was born, my parents had expected a boy, so they had no girl name picked. My name in the hospital was “baby girl (last name)”. They kept it that way for months. My mum wanted to keep it that way. Forever. After agonising for 5 months, they picked Lisa. Completely anticlimactic, I know.
— From toreadorable
I’MUNIQUE - I work at a bank in North Florida and have been keeping a list of names I come across. My favourite so far is definitely “I’munique.” It was on her ID and everything.
— From tootzWFB
DEITORA - Met a young couple once with 3 kids named Messiah, Allah, and Deitora.
Deitora. You know, like “deities”.
- From Zalozis
KAIZYLE - Mum liked the name Paisley, but it was too “normal” I guess so she went with that disaster. -_- The name rhymes with Paisley. So Kays-lee.
— From WombatBeans
RAGE - Some years ago, I ran in to an ex boyfriend at the gas station with his new girlfriend, her little boy in the back seat. His name was Rage.
— From notJenn
JAMMY - Jammy — kids parents thought this was the correct spelling of Jamie.
— From Viennese_Waltz
BRITNEY SHAKIRA BEYONCE - Britney Shakira Beyonce, and they would call her by the full name every time.
— From Ralome
HEAVEN LEE - I knew a very young couple who named their daughter Heaven Lee.
— From the_pressman
L’ORÉAL, JOOP AND DKNY - I was reading a true life magazine and there was a woman who named her daughter L’Oréal and her sons Joop and DKNY (pronounced “dikini”). Poor bastards.
— From ninja_chinchilla
MAZEN - My former stepsister named her kid “Mazen” because it was ‘mazen when he was born ... very trashy.
— From garlan14
SSSST - My wife is a high-risk pregnancy nurse at a hospital and she could post these for hours. My favourite one so far: Sssst. First to guess its correct pronunciation is the winner.
— From cody4king ... the name is pronounced Four-es-t.
DERFLA - Her parents thought she was going to be a boy and planned to name him after dear old Uncle Alfred. When she was a girl, they had to come up with something.
— From rainbowplethora
PHELONY - A girl I knew had her third baby, a girl. She was constantly strung out which explains her mentality at the time. She named her daughter Phelony. Yes ... that is felony with a Ph. Poor kid.
— From HellenaBucket
AME AND RICA - Two identical twin girls in my school were called Ame and Rica, probably had something to do with them being conceived in the US. Still hilarious though.
— From Radvila
EIGHMEY - Eighmey. Seriously, can you just spell it Amy instead of being a douche?
— From Redefenestrate
SEMAJ - I knew a kid named Semaj — pronounced “seh-mah-zhay”. It’s James backwards.
— From babiestgiraffe
MERCURY CONSTELLATION STARCRUISER - When I was in the Navy working admin, I walked by someone who had the last name on their shirt “star cruiser”. I looked them up and their full name was Mercury Constellation Starcruiser. Their sibling had something along those lines but I don’t remember exactly what it was.
— From Zorno666
TOM ... - I knew three brothers named Courage, Gallantry, and Tom.
— From c4isTheAnswer