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I think my job is ruining my relationship.

by Kristen Henry

When you’re trying to connect with someone; share your life but your work schedules have you passing like ships in the night, things get tricky.

I realised when I was on holidays that my household had been working on two different time zones. I love my job cos you know, I like to eat, but it was kinda killing my relationship.

I’m a Breakfast radio host so my alarm goes off at 4am. My boyfriend hears about what’s happening in my life mostly when the rest of Canberra does between 5:30am and 9. I eat at nursing home hours. I’m too exhausted at night to chat or sit through a movie. I’m in bed by 8.

Jesus, I want to break up with myself.

Fast forward to holidays and we’re doing novelty things like having dinner together. Waking up together. Watching TV or even making it through a movie without me falling asleep on his shoulder.

It was paradise. Or as some call it, a normal functioning relationship.

Conversations expanded from “I love you, can you grab some milk on your way home” to meaningful discussions that stretched into multiple sentences.

Nurses, Doctors, anyone in hospitality and other shift workers are you feelin’ me? Can I get an amen?

With the help of google and my girlfriends I pressed go on the below. I’d like to call them;

“Tips for when you are crazy busy but you love your partner and never see them and fear you’ll soon have to wear name tags”

Working title. Hope it helps.

Date Night. We don’t have a stack of time together but I wanted to make sure the time we did have was bloody awesome. Enter; date night. Every Friday night we clear the schedule (and I have a nanna nap so I stay awake past 8pm) and we seek out the hot new restaurant in town or see a show. It’s always something to look forward to.

Texts and calls during the day. Its super simple and so obvious but this simple gesture keeps things ticking along during the day. We keep it light, but it’s a nice way to remind each other that you’re thinking of them.

Planning a holiday. A holiday is the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s that encouragement to deal with the situation as it is right now because you know you’ll  be sipping cocktails by the pool in Bali in only X weeks time.

Lingerie kits are your friend. Or whatever your game changer is; a good bottle of wine, porn, a weekend away; buy it and surprise your partner. This is about making the time you have together different, exciting and memorable! Whatever your ‘thing’ is that’s sure to spice things up, whip it out.

I understand the last sentence could be taken out of context. Still leaving it in.

A common goal. We’re working towards running in a fun run together. Feel free to choose something more exciting and less strenuous for your household but it’s nice to be working towards something together. Sharing how training is going, working solo on it through the week and together on the weekend. Makes you feel like even though you’re apart, you’re still a team.

 

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